The Vacation
by TwisterTheHedgehog
Summary: What do you do when you go on vacation, and all your friends are crazy? What if you fall in love? Mostly SonicxAmy, but some KnucklesxRouge, TailsxCream, and ShadowxBlaze. Rated M for some violence, coarse language, and future lemons.
1. Chapter 1: The Normal Bullshit Starts

Me: Hello everybody. It's Twister the Hedgehog, A.K.A., 2186727, bitches. I'm new to posting my stories but not writing. I just got a few things to say...

Sonic: Just start the damn story.

Me: Shut the fuck up Sonic. I got to tell them the disclaimer first. Anyways, as you probably figured out I do not own the Sonic characters so don't start no shit about that.

Sonic: Don't no one own me.

Me: Sonic, you're SEGA's main bitch.

Sonic: Damn.

Me: With that over with, I guess we can start the story.

Sonic: Ass.

Me: What was that?(pulls out shotgun)

Sonic: Oh shit!!

The Vacation

Chapter 1: The Normal Bullshit Starts

"King me," our little fox friend, Tails, said as he jumped his piece to the other side of the rather large checker board.

"Wait," the angry red echidna, Knuckles, protested, "you can't jump me from all the way over there."

"Yes I can," Tails said, "it's called a rainbow jump. It's part of the rules, dumbass."

"Dumbass? Who are you calling a dumbass you little faggot?" Knuckles shouted as he clenched his fist.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not gay," Tails yelled as loud as he could. "I probably get twice as much pussy asyou do."

"That's it!!" Knuckles roared. Before Tails could even hope to lift a finger, Knuckles' fist was already at working crashing in to the side of his face. Tails was sent flying towards a wall. *CRASH* Sonic, not paying attention to the usual fights his friends share over stupid shit, was caught off guard by the loud crash and fell face-first onto the floor.

"What the fuck...," Sonic started saying until he saw the gaping hole in the wall. Then Shadow walked in the room.

"What... in... the hell," Shadow shouted, the anger in his voce rising with each word that slid out of his mouth. "I finally let you three come on vacation with me and stay in my condo, and you put a whole in my wall?" Chaos energy was flowing from his hands as he was seething with anger. "I ought to kill all of you right here," Shadow shouted, his voice sounding demonic, "but I won't." All the energy dispersed as if he got shot with enough tranquilizer to take down three bull elephants.(Wow, I thought some people were bi-polar.) "What kind of person would kill his friends for tearing a hole in his wall?" he asked. "Besides, why kill you when you can just pay for it?"

"But I didn't do anything," Sonic whined.

"Like I give a flying fuck. You were supposed to watch those two," Shadow said, pointing at Tails and Knuckles.

"And we spent the last of our money on booze yesterday," Tails and Knuckles cried in unison.

"You're gonna have to get the money somehow," Shadow said.

"How's that, smartass," Sonic said.

"I know, how about a job?" Shadow said.

"NO!!" Tails and Knuckles cried at the top of their lungs.

"If we have to get jobs, I think I know where we can get some," Sonic said.

"I don't care how you get it as long as you get it," Shadow said.

"Fine, we'll go tomorrow," Sonic said.

"Okay," Tails said.

"Yeah," Knuckles said.

* * *

Me: Sorry if this chapter is too short. It's just an introductory chapter as to what happens to start all the stupid shit that you'll come to enjoy. This story is meant to be a romance in some parts, but I could always go for a good laugh so it's filled with a lot of crazy random shit that will hopefully get at least a chuckle.

Sonic: I thought it was okay.

Me: Oh, that reminds me. If you want to review, don't be an ass. I enjoy constructive criticism, but being a douchbag is a different story. Tell me what you think I need to cause that's one of the only ways I'll become a better writer.

Sonic: I hope there's no assholes.

Knuckles: Don't worry. I'll fuck 'em up.

Me: What the hell!! How did...

Knuckles: Don't ask.

Shadow: You really don't want to know.

Me: Holy shit!! How did...

Tails: I thought they said not to ask.

Me: What the fuck!! Can't you guys at least knock first?


	2. Chapter 2: The Job Search

Me: Hello peoples!! If you're reading this, I thank you for staying with this story.

Sonic: They're really nice.

Shadow: I agree.

Knuckles: Uh-huh.

Me: I think we all know that these people are really nice.

Tails: Of course.

Me: Anyways, you people know the disclaimer already, and I don't like to repeat myself.

Sonic: What was that?

Me: I said I don't like to... YOU ASS!!

Sonic: Pwnd!!

Me: I hope you guys enjoy the second chapter while I kill this dumbshit.

Chapter 2: The Job Search

"Hey, jackasses, wake up," Shadow shouted.

"Five more minutes, mommy," Knuckles said.

"*SIGH* Why do I hang out with these dumbasses?" Shadow asked himself. "Oh well. They'll have to wake up eventually." With that, Shadow walked into the kitchen and got three cups. He filled each cup with ice and cold water. He walked back up to the room and threw each of the cups' contents in to their respective victim's face.

"Holy shit," Knuckles roared.

"What the fuck, Shadow?" Sonic screamed.

"Get your lazy asses up, it's time to find you a job," Shadow said.

"Why are you up so early?" Tails asked.

"I'm going for a run, and someone has to wake you three up," Shadow answered.

"Where are we gonna find jobs around here?" Knuckles asked.

"I don't know or care so bye," Shadow said as he left the three to their devices.

"What a douche," Knuckles said.

"Let's just find a paper," Sonic said.

They started their day looking through the newspaper for any wanted ads. Sadly, though, there weren't any positions that needed to be filled. With the wanted ads being such a failure, the three decided to go out and look through the city for any chance of a job.

"How in the hell are there no jobs here?" Tails asked.

"Who knows?" Kncukles responded.

"I wonder," Sonic said out loud to himself.

"What is it?" Knuckles asked.

"I feel like I know there's a job around here, but I just can't remember what it is," Sonic answered.

"C'mon, Sonic, we really need to find a job," Tails said.

"Yeah, Shadow just wants to save his money for pot," Knuckles said.

"Wait, that's it," Sonic said.

"We're not selling pot, Sonic," Knuckles said.

"No, I think I just remembered where we can get a job, smartass," Sonic said.

"Where?" Tails asked.

"My crazy brother's place," Sonic replied.

"You have a brother," Knuckles asked.

"Yeah, his name's Manic," Sonic said.

"What's he look like?" Tails asked.

"He's hard to describe," Sonic said.

"You sure he can get us a job?" Knuckles asked.

"If you don't mind working at a surf shop," Sonic answered.

"It doesn't sound too bad," Tails said.

"Yeah, let's go check it out," Knuckles said.

"Fine, follow me," Sonic said.

The three sped off in the direction where Sonic thought his brother's shop was. It actually led to a beautiful beach front. Its sands were fine and white while the water shined the same amazing hue as the Master Emerald. To say the least, it was amazing.

"Wow," Tails said with his mouth wide open.

"Damn, this is spectacular," Knuckles said.

"Ahh, Emerald Coast, just as I remembered it," Sonic said.

"Where's your brother's place?" Knuckles asked.

"Over there," Sonic said pointing at a small shack.

"What are we waiting for?" Tails asked.

"My brother has pot and he won't be in any state to deal business for another thirty minutes or so," Sonic said. "In fact, I remember the time I came over and doped up with him. Ahh, good times."

**FLASHBACK**

In the small shack that was the surf shop, Sonic and Manic were sitting on the floor in the back. They were passing a joint back and forth. Manic said it was a special blend called Jamaican Passion. Either way, the shit was good. Their eyes were enormous and red. Sonic couldn't believe how strong this stuff was. He couldn't tell left from right, up from down, or trees from water. (WTF?)

"Dude... I am so baked right now," Manic said. "Call me Pat the Baker, Huh...uh. I'm higher than a damn satellite."

"Hey, pass that shit over here," Sonic managed to choke out. He grabbed for the joint but found nothing. He continued to reach for the ghost blunt but, still, continued to find nothing. "Manic. Manic," Sonic yelled. He looked over to find Manic staring at his hand with the face of pure confusion. His eyes were twice as wide as they normally were when he was high. He looked like he was in deep thought. Manic's mind was on the verge of breaking. He was standing on the line between enlightenment and hysteria. Then he asked the question.

"Why do we all where gloves?" Manic asked.

"I really don't know," Sonic said after a pause.

"I mean, I've heard people take them off when they go to sleep, but they're back on before they even wake up," Manic said.

"Manic," Sonic said.

"What?" Manic asked.

"Just pass me the joint cause you're making my head hurt," Sonic said.

"We'll have to figure out the truth someday," Manic said.

"Sure," Sonic said while he took a long drag on the blunt.

**END FLASHBACK**

"He sounds fun," Knuckles said.

"Wait til' you meet him," Sonic said.

"You think it's about time now?" Tails asked.

"Yeah, you guys stay out here while I go talk to him," Sonic said.

"Hurry up," Knuckles said.

"Like you need to tell me that," Sonic said as he walked into the shack.

Me: Sorry if I updated a little late. I got the first ten chapters of this story written down, but when I type them, I see a lot of things I can change.

Sonic: I'm sure they understand. (puts hand over gunshot wound)

Shadow: Man, he really fucked you up Sonic.

Tails: Yeah, you got an ass-woopin.

Knuckles: It looks like you went twelve rounds with Jesus.

Sonic: LDIMEDILLIGAF (for those of you how don't know, it means, Look deeply into my eyes does it look like I give a fuck?)

Me: Anyways, please review and tell me what you think. I don't type this for just my own pleasure. I want to know how I can make you guys happy. A writer ain't nothing without his readers. Give me suggestions, and I'll see if I can add them into future chapters.

Shadow: When can I come back in?

Me: Not until chapter four I think.

Shadow: Damn.

Me: Oh well, I hope your Spring Breaks are funner than mine has turned out to be. Adios and via con dios!

Sonic: Wait, I want to tell them something.

Me: Oh fucking well.


End file.
